Queen of the wafflers ...

Sometimes, I have a hard time making decisions. Or I guess I should say making decisions and sticking to them. I will make a decision and then fret and pick at it, sometimes completely reversing myself. I had an excellent example this last week.

I've known for a couple months that our new C.O. & his wife are people I knew many years ago when I was a child. I was very excited about seeing them again, and so was my friend Brad. We had even cooked up a little plan to extract the maximum amount of fun out of reintroducing ourselves to them. However, a week before we're due to see them, I started thinking. What do you do when you see someone again after years and years? You catch up on their life, what's happened, what they're doing now. Well let's face it, my life right now sucks. I'm seventy-five pounds overweight, still single, and have been unemployed for six months. I don't want to talk about my life with people. So, I decided I wasn't going to go up and reintroduce myself to them after all. Maybe by the time they visit my congregation, I'd have a job and have lost at least a little weight.

The day arrives, and I'm still convinced that I don't want to go say hello. However, by now half the congregation knows that I know our new C.O., and are surprised that I'm not seeking them out. All day I have people asking me if I've said hello yet, and shaking their heads when I say 'No, I'm not going to here.' Wes & Donna are interviewed after lunch, providing some nostalgia and I start to waffle. Yes, I'll go say hello after all. No, I won't. Yes, I will. No, I won't. I'll see them when they come to our Hall. But they'll wonder why I didn't come say hello at the Assembly. On and on. Finally, during the very last talk, I make the decision 'Yes, I'm going to go say hi'. Roz even makes it easier by wanting to go say hello to the visiting couple from Brooklyn, leaving me time to say hello to Wes & Donna without feeling like she's just standing there waiting on me.

I'm so glad I said hello. It was fun and wonderful. Neither of them recognized me, but when I told them who I was they remembered me instantly. They were so excited and happy to see me again, all grown up. Donna even said I was beautiful. I didn't even have to talk about my life except to tell them I lived out here now and am in the French. All that mental spazzing for nothing. I may even put aside my C.O. phobia and ask to work with them or feed them when they're here. Hopefully by then things will have improved enough that I won't go through the same round of mental aerobics I did this first time. However, I can't guarantee that. I still talk myself out of giving answers at the French meetings, and that's less pressure. That's a subject for another ramble, though.